I've been so busy lately trying to commit professional hari-kari that I haven't been posting my usual superfluity of sophomoric musings and random music. I won't bore you with the details but my life lately has been teh suck.
Today, however, I cannot complain. I went to the Benefits (read Health) Fair at work yesterday. Got lots of complementary ink pens and highlighters, little sewing kit and first aid kits, a podometer, Weight Watchers snacks, a banana, etc. I lurve me some swag!
The Arkansas Heart Hospital was there doing screenings. I think the lady doing mine was a little disappointed. She took one look at me and and thought, "I'm gonna get to ream this fat lady out!" But other than my blood pressure being a little high (HELLOOOO: I'm AT WORK!) all my numbers were acceptible. The best parting shot she could muster was "You should really add some omega fish oil to your diet." So I said, "Yeah. 2 grams of EPA/DHA daily should be adequate, don't you think? I mean, if I took any more the AHA says I'd be at risk for mercury poisoning." (Because-- just in case you haven't already figured this out-- if you plan to act the smart-ass in the library you'd better be prepared to be one-upped.)
Also won a $10.00 gift certificate from Chili's-- so there goes that 50 points I shaved off of LDL! Maybe I can spend it on booze.
And the news just keeps getting better! A box arrived which I assumed was more of my eBay bounty. So I'm chatting and drinking a coke and looking at my email when I start to think... "too big for cds, too small for shoes, hmmm... Whaaaa???" One look at the return address I'm squeeling, "CRANKY!!! CRANKY!!! CRANKY!!! CRAAAAANKY PAAAAANTS!!!!" Then I made my people look at that picture of Elvis pooping beneath the lunar eclipse. And Fidelvis. And the one where he's eating a cornchip with his eyes bugged out (No offense intended, little man. You got some buggy eyes!) And that one where he looks like Marty Feldman.
And what a box it was! With a hand-written note!! You can see the note in one of the pictures, but I have smudged out all the sensitive information to protect the innocent. Heh, heh... "innocent" is used here loosely.
Box contained:The awesome bookmark of the day.
An insanely happy looking creature that holds cds in his mouth.
A good dog/bad dog zipper pouch which I will either use to transport dog training treats OR those sawed-off little portable tampons.
A pair of white monkey dog toys that I promise I will not throw at my dogs (see warning). I've been calling them the Monkey Brothers. They remind me of a batch of white kittens with mis-matched eyes
that used to live under the mobile home I lived in. (Yes, I did time in a trailer, but not a trailer park. Also went through a tornado in said trailer. Good
times...) We called all those kittehs David Bowie, or collectively "the Davids."
Hand made monkey head charm (Cranky, I have your fingerprints!!!!) that now adorns my work badge.
THANK YOU CRANKY & ELVY! To say that you made my day would be a gross understatement.
Which reminds me:
To all of you who posted and did silly things for my birthday earlier this month-- YOU ROCK!
People at work are suspicious about how I get things from people my "imaginary friends," which is what I call all of you of whom I am quite fond but who I have not met in person. I like that. I think it gives me an aura of mystery.
Best. Imaginary friends. EVAR.
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