Donkey Wednesday salutes Can Hieronymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?

What can I say about this film except that I MUST SEE IT?

Can Hieronymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness? (1969) was written and directed AND starred in by Anthony Newley.  He also wrote the songs.  From what I can tell it is (perhaps embarassingly) autobiographical.  Arriving at the age of 40, our hero reflects on his life and deduces that he has already used up over half of his time on earth.  Although he has attained his dual life goals (1. making it big in show business and 2. loving legions of beautiful women) he still longs for happiness.  He tries to make sense of his life in the form of a film.  Or a film within a film.  Or a movie about a movie.  But he doesn't know how to end the story.  Producers, writers, censors, and critics dog his every decision.  Ain't that always the case?  And H. has still to come up with an ending.

As for characters, Hieronymous Merkin's name can only make you think of hairy merkins and/or the Netherlandish painter H. Bosch in a merkin.  Either way... it's disturbing and engaging at once. 

You have Milton Berle playing Goodtime Eddie Flinth (a pimp character who coaches H. in the ways of seduction)

George Jessel is a godlike, cigar-smoking "Presence"

Joan Collins (who was married to Neweley at the time) plays Polyester Poontang (no kidding!)

Connie Kreske (1969 Playmate of the Year ) as Hieronymous' ideal love, Mercy Humppe

Other notable character names (a la Pussy Galore ) are:

Judy Cornwall as Filigree Fondle

Gilly Grant as Maidenhair Fern

Sue Shepherd as Quiche Lorraine

Margo Seagrave as Hope Climax

Yolanda as Trampolena Whambang

Added attractions/distractions: puppet/puppetmaster metaphor, piles of personal posessions on a sea shore, nekkidity, and 1969 fashion at its... zenith?  Nadir???

Of the few reviews I have found, the most charitable is by Roger Ebert from May of 1969.  His opinion is that CHMEFMHAFTH? sinks under the weight of its aspirations, that it suffers from "too much invention, rather than too little."  He gives it a "strange," a "wonderful," and an "original" and compares it to the personal surrealism of Fellini and Godard.  I was a little surprised to see that it won the Writers' Guild of Great Britain's Award for Best British Original Screenplay award in 1970.  Wacky Brits!

So, I'm off to try to locate a copy of this obscure screen gem.   You are welcome to stay and enjoy "The Princess and the Donkey."

"Why couldn't we get Ingmar Bergman to direct this thing? His films never have an end. As a matter of fact, most of them don't even have a beginning!"

” ~Hieronymous Merkin