Cautionary tale

A few days ago, there was a Vox Hunt about a book that you are "most ashamed you haven't read."   Initially I mis-read the question and thought for a moment about a book that I am ashamed of HAVING read,  Every time I think of this book it sets off a domino effect of bad juju.  So now I've gotta release the pressure of the shame and anguish, and I'm gonna do it here and now.

I am both ashamed and angry that I actually read Who Moved My (motherfuckin') Cheese (goddammit!) by John Spencer, MD.  (No links because I do not even want to give that book any CLICKS.)  This book was recommended to me by someone (formerly) in our HR department.  She said it was a "life-changing" book and the "most amazing" analogy for workplace dissatisfaction she'd ever heard.  Bullshit!

Long story short:  WMMMCG is about some mice who have to adapt to changes in their maze in order to survive.  Oh, great!  Who doesn't like to be compared to a rodent in an experiment?  How could that go wrong?  And, since when do mice require footwear, Dr. Spencer (If you even ARE a doctor)?  That's just stupid!  And not in a cute way, either.  Instead of finding his running shoes and looking for his cheese, he should have ganged up with the depressed mouse and escaped or gone after the motherfuckers that put him in that maze.   And why make me read a "book"  when you could cover the whole scenario in one damn paragraph?  I think the mouse in a maze who can't find any cheese scenario speaks volumes about the POV of the author. I think this is a shit book written by a desperate and bitter man as a spitful joke on the corporate culture that has marginalized him.

I'm glad it only took a couple of hours to knock it out.  Can you imagine how mad I'd be if it had taken me all day?  I consider it a 2-hour investment in knowing with great certainty what kind of analogies NOT to make in the workplace.   And that I would work extra hard to not insult anybody's intellegence with the pop psychology.  Seriously, I'll kill myself first.  And I had to assume the position of the recomender of this book!  I clearly had some shit-stained boots to fill.  Since then I have suspended belief on every damn thing that comes out of her mouth.  I want those two hours back and sometimes I just want to knock her down and kick her.  And I am not usually a violent person.  But I really could stomp that bitch. 

I'm also rather happy to see that other enterprising folks have picked up of the ridiculousness of  WMMMCG and have written a parody (Who Stole My Cheese by Ilene Hochberg) and a rebuttal (Nobody Moved Your Cheese by Ross Shafer.)

I am going to do you the favor that nobody did for me:  DO NOT READ THIS BOOK!  YOU DESERVE BETTER!